The iEverything 2 is OFFICIALLY HERE!!

FIRST PART!

After a long 5 months of waiting, Apple (Now owned by PETA) has finally created the iEverything 2. It is even more everything than the iEverything, because it is the iEverything 2. But, how can something be more everything, if the iEverything is everything, wouldn’t the iEverything also be the iEverything 2, so you wouldn’t have to but the iEverything 2? Well, that is where you are wrong! The iEverything could be everything except be the iEverything 2. And now that you have the iEverything 2, it can be the iEverything 2, which the iEverything couldn’t do. Also, the iEverything 2 can be the iEverything making it so you wouldn’t have to buy the 1st one instead. But, what else does it do? The iEverything 2 does everything the same as the iEverything, which is everything. But, the iEverything 2 can now do 2 everythings at the same time. If you want to eat and travel to Mars at the same time, you can do it with the iEverything 2! So buy it right now, it only costs all of your money, which isn’t as bad as it sounds since the iEverything 2 can be anything, including an infinite amount of money. So but it!

PETA buys Facebook and regains the rights to Google!

As we all know PETA has recently sold Google to Facebook for even more money because they “need” more money or something, but PETA’s true plant was to buy Facebook and regain Google at the same exact time. As PETA now owns Facebook they also own everything that Facebook owned as well, expanding PETA by even more companies. The only company bigger than PETA is Disney, but even Disney is starting to sweat at how fast PETA is growing, people expect PETA to overtake Disney by at least mid-2020. So whenever any of you hip kids go onto Snapchat or whatever, you should know that there will now be a lot more animals as it is now owned by PETA.

PETA Buys the Entire Continent of Europe!!: WHAT??! *REAL* STORY!!

OH MY GOD!! You know PETA, the multi-trillion dollar company that was blown the market in the last few months! Well, They decided that the best way to spread their products even more was by owning a large portion of the entire world, and they DID! As of TODAY, PETA has bought the entirety of Europe, one of the continents of EARTH! Now all of Europe is now just a lot of factories, Business buildings, you know, all the boring stuff to spread the companies popularity even more then it already was. Some people protest saying that PETA is now just terrible money-makers, but we all have to agree that what they have done for us is incredible, a lot of citizens of Europe are very, very unhappy about this, but what can you do. Well, They sure are a lot more popular now to say the least!

PETA Stands For Something ELSE!!!

Yall probably thought that PETA stood People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Right??? Wrong, PETA now stands for People Eating Tasty Apples. THAT IS WHY THEY BOUGHT APPLE!

Here is what people have said about this:

Apples aren’t that tasty, but you can buy my premium quality bananas at http://www.bananana.live!

– Saleswoman who came to my door

Uhh, that’s pretty cool

-Ownernick

PETA Tries to Stop Trump From Banning Google!

On Saturday morning, Trump said, “PETA I’m coming for you next boy!” Then he tried to ban Google who was recently bought by animal rights organization, PETA. PETA responded by saying, “You think that your going to stop our rapid growth, let me tell you you are not.” Trump then said, “I will eat you up like I eat my Big Mac!” The different sides are know taking the topic to twitter with hashtags like, #TrumpOverPETA, #EatEmLikeABigMac, #WeDon’tLikeTrump, and #PETAAlwaysWins. Wow, the president is trying to ban our friend Google, most of you readers probably use Google to find us. #WeDon’tLikeTrump