Welcome, and listen well, little badger. This here ain’t no little possum, little badger. This is the Secret Guide to all things on TNN. Which this Guide itself, is a secret (The irony haha). Shut up badger nobody cares about you. (But, I am a little badger, talking down to me would be abuse). I don’t care little badger, let me continue to tell the viewers about all the secrets of TNN! Just don’t tell the people at TNN about this, I can’t let them find out about this…
Secret 1:
The people working at TNN aren’t human, they are Government spies, like other things like pigeons and the Moon. The hide this fact for obvious reasons.
Secret 2:
All the articles on this site and complete trash, this site sucks and you should leave it right now. This isn’t a secret, but rather important advice to give you.
Secret 3:
You remember Secret 1? Of course you do, this one is based off that one. TN-itis is actually a real disease hidden by the government, people working on News sites are actually dying. The original people working at TNN are now dead, now robots spying on you people right now. In fact every site with Cookies has government spies.
Secret 4:
This is the last, and might be the most important Secret of them all. Wait oh shoot the FBI is knocking at my door bye.
-Joe Buckaroo
TNN News 