Tag: the united states government will not capture joe buckaroo

United States bans use of metal straws! OMG!

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The United States decides to ban metal straws after many kids have hit each other with them. This is another blow to those darn environmentalists who want kids to hit each other, and don’t even care about anything but themselves. At a speech today, President Trump said, “Metal straws, more like large flaws, we are going to ban metal straws because 10 little Timmy’s got hurt. This is big news, I wonder if sea turtles agree with this?

After writing this I learned new evidence that supports the band on metal straws! https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-dies-after-accidentally-being-impaled-by-metal-straw_n_5d2778dde4b02a5a5d57c428?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANlHTqxc0LxCFRXA1EC_4EuZL7zsZz3o5Jdmu47fboMedDwdcbG94p7zOUIfhfBsBiA50iSbPJgI5hgN1unSorFpL8VYrcm1PotKQdUvUOdg79bcAiNNVAS1rMdOAGp6yQ8dNEtxPj5RKyAI6EgR9F_Mi7GjH-D2ZnFpsFNpGhWh

Autumn VS Fall debate leaves the White House completely destroyed! – Oh my! NEWS!

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At the White House today, Donald Trump was having an argument with one of his Body Guards by the name of “Bodenheimer” about if it was Autumn or Fall. Bodenheimer believed it was Fall, as you know, this happened in America. But, Trump believed it was Autumn so they got in an agrument even though they literally are the exact same thing. Donald Trump then pulled out one of his Money-Launchers (Bazookas with money inside) to shoot Bodenheimer out the window. But, while he was falling down he landed on a land mine blowing up the entire White House. Luckly-ish, nobody was killed by this disaster. The Government is now re-building the White House, though it is speculated to take multiple weeks for the entire thing to be rebuilt.

BREAKING NEWS: Thanks to group effort, Joe Buckaroo escapes!

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Joe Buckaroo is know for blowing up Turkey (nobody died btw) and also releasing good information to the people about the United States government. He was captured in California, and was transported to some high-tech facility, but thanks to a stolen US ARMY plane, a fake news company (totally not TNN), and a-lot of smoke he has escaped.

A fake news company and some of Joe’s friends stole a US ARMY plane and landed it in the prison, after releasing tons of smoke bombs, they came down on ropes and got Joe out of the prison. #GoJoe