Tag: donald trump

United States bans use of metal straws! OMG!

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The United States decides to ban metal straws after many kids have hit each other with them. This is another blow to those darn environmentalists who want kids to hit each other, and don’t even care about anything but themselves. At a speech today, President Trump said, “Metal straws, more like large flaws, we are going to ban metal straws because 10 little Timmy’s got hurt. This is big news, I wonder if sea turtles agree with this?

After writing this I learned new evidence that supports the band on metal straws! https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-dies-after-accidentally-being-impaled-by-metal-straw_n_5d2778dde4b02a5a5d57c428?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANlHTqxc0LxCFRXA1EC_4EuZL7zsZz3o5Jdmu47fboMedDwdcbG94p7zOUIfhfBsBiA50iSbPJgI5hgN1unSorFpL8VYrcm1PotKQdUvUOdg79bcAiNNVAS1rMdOAGp6yQ8dNEtxPj5RKyAI6EgR9F_Mi7GjH-D2ZnFpsFNpGhWh

Trump is no longer a sandwich; ‘I am now a Gender Blender!’

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The popular guy you might’ve heard of by the name of Donald Trump has once again changed his gender from a sandwich to a Gender Blender. This was due to “sandwiches not being hip anymore, sandwiches are basic, I’m not basic. I am a blender, those are hip with the kids, right?”. This decision is very controversial with the people of this planet though, as they consider this foodist, thinking that sandwiches aren’t hip. But, I must do something I don’t like doing, defending Trump. If he is a Blender, let him be one, you gosh darn jerk.

Pie is now illegal on Pi Day!!!??: SAY WHA!???

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Tasty Go-Lucky YUMMY Pie!

I love Pi Day, but I find the taste of pie disgusting! So pie should not be allowed on Pi Day so Pi Day can be the best holiday!!!

Donald Trump

So, You see this! Trump HATES pie! So, Pie is now BANNED on Pi Day because he loves Pi Day and thinks that eating Pie on this day just completely ruins the entire holiday! Even though this is extremely stupid, but a law’s a law so… poop. Anyways, This didn’t affect this Pi Day so don’t worry, the FBI isn’t after you or anything. But, Just make sure next Pi Day that you DON’T EAT ANY PIE!!!

Donald Trump eats 24 pounds of Oat Meal every single day!!!: 10 CRAZY Facts!

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Here are 10 CRAZY Facts that will make you not want to live on this planet any longer! So, Let’s begin!

  1. Obama has killed 25% of the Earth and we did not know a single bit about it!:
    Obama has secretly been killing off millions of people everyday and we did not know a single thing about it! It is because of his sweet smile! It’s so great!
  2. Trump has eaten 24 pounds of Oat Meal every single day of his life: Not much to say about this one…
  3. Waffles are now pancakes!??: WOWWIE! I sure didn’t know that!

I hope you enjoyed these 10 Epic FACTS that will blow your MIND!!! “There were only 3” you say? Well, then you are freaking stupid you dumb face man! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it when I am so obviously right!

President Trump says he will vote for Hillary in 2020 presidential election

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“You might think that Hillary is completely different from me, but your WRONG! She is very nice, unlike other democrats, she agreed to build the wall out of sand!”

Donald Trump, State of the Union 2019

You might be thinking (if you are capable of that) that Trump would never do that. The reason for this is that Hillary agreed to stop spreading memes about Donald being a Cheeto. Some of the memes Hillary was spreading were these.

She has agreed to stop spreading these as long as Trump can smarten up (not possible) and vote for her. Trump doesn’t really know how to vote though, he wrote in the box “Build That Wall” when he voted for himself. Here are some peoples thoughts on the issue.

Yah, are you the pizza delivery guy or just a dumb CNN rip off?

Resident of LA who threw a brick at me when I was walking away

Are you a undercover cop???

Someone doing something illegal

Ha, funny memes, looks like Trump almost!

A person who doesn’t understand that they are memes of Trump

DISCLAIMER: I do not have any views on President Trump or Hillary Clinton!

BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. plans to invade WOW. California Leaves U.S.

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At President Trump’s State of the Union address he said, ¨I will keep America safe, which means invading WOW!” German Spaghetti was attending this event and he yelled ¨Yeah like, you can!¨ President Trump ordered 100,000 troops to invade Washington & Oregon, in response WOW severed all ties with the U.S. except for California. You want to know why, California left the U.S! California has now formed the Republic of California and is now big partners with WOW! The U.S. has lost all of it’s west coast, so they invaded California. California decided to try and get other states to leave,and they did, 3 states left the U.S., Idaho, Nevada, and Arizona.  They have now formed the United Republic of NICA. The flag is shown above.

The British “accidentally” Insulted Trump: Rap Battle Prequel

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We should of published the Rap Battle before this one, but we were dumb… OOPSIE!!

 

The British prime minister, Theresa May accidentally called Trump, a “really fat boy.” After that event she said, “No… I did say that!” Trump has said multiple things about this. They are, “Well… That’s weird”, “She be lying!” He also said, “Boy, I am not fat how dare you boy, you are the ugly boy, boy” As you can see by this boy, he really mad. Prepare for a rap battle in between them tomorrow!

President Trump owned a Candy Store that only Served Armed Robbers

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We all know about Hillary Clinton’s pizza shop for child killers but new info suggest President Trump owned a candy shop that only served armed robbers. On Thursday morning the NYPD released a 911 call from August 1976. The call was about a guy who said, “leave or die, unless you’ve robbed someone in the past year.” The caller said the guys shirt said Donald Trump Owns this Candy Store. TNN has interviewed the woman who called 911, who is now 68, she didn’t want us to release her name. The woman said, “the guy started chasing me with some sort of bat yelling, ‘you tell the police your family goes down with you!'” The picture on the left is Trump and the caller talking in a meeting on Saturday.

West California gets new governor

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Former governor of West California, Tenold Trump was fired from his position after he started acting really dumb. Tenold Trump had a air eating contest with President Trump, West California does not except this kind of behavior from it’s governor. As you know West California just left the United States because they think it is bad. The new governor is French Spaghetti’s sister, German Spaghetti. She said, “….I will try my best to help West California succeed in every way.”