Corn on the cob CORN DOG!!!??: OMG AHHHH!!!

Oh my goodness you will not believe this! In Japan there is now a Corn on the cob corn dog! It is a corn on the cob with the corn dog bread stuff surrounding it! IT SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT!? But, This is reality so we have to deal with this. With all the problems on Earth like constant wars, global warming, the forever deteriorating enviornment of Earth. All these problems could be solved if we work together. And here we are… with a corn on the cob corn dog…

Pie is now illegal on Pi Day!!!??: SAY WHA!???

Tasty Go-Lucky YUMMY Pie!

I love Pi Day, but I find the taste of pie disgusting! So pie should not be allowed on Pi Day so Pi Day can be the best holiday!!!

Donald Trump

So, You see this! Trump HATES pie! So, Pie is now BANNED on Pi Day because he loves Pi Day and thinks that eating Pie on this day just completely ruins the entire holiday! Even though this is extremely stupid, but a law’s a law so… poop. Anyways, This didn’t affect this Pi Day so don’t worry, the FBI isn’t after you or anything. But, Just make sure next Pi Day that you DON’T EAT ANY PIE!!!

First Tap Dancing Shark!??: Wait WHAT!?? Story time!

Yes, You heard that right! There is a shark that can tap dance of all things! It is absurd! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT! His record is tap dancing for 56 seconds straight just on his tail! It’s crazy! The sharks name is Perry, which is a pretty strange name for a Shark, but hey I won’t judge it! Perry is so good at tap dancing that he went into a tap dancing and won 1st place instantly! Well, I mean he didn’t even tap dance, but he ate all the other contestants so he won by default… He sure is such a great tap dancer, you agree! Of course you do! HAHAHAHAHA… uhhh… Oh hey Perry how are you do- AHHH! STOP IT NOOO! AGGHHH-

Breaking News New Island Found!!!!

Yesterday two people where found on a brand new island. According to Illy Bob Oe and Hippie John. They were going whale Watching and a large long silver kraken with people on it washed them to shore. Since they thought they were washed up on fiji, Hippie John said , ” ew era ta Ijif?” Hippie John only speaks backwards so Illy Bob Oe can’t hear well he thought they had discovered a new island. Which Illy Bob Oe was right for once in his life. You can take a ferry from fiji to see this island. A resort will be expected to be built in 2020.

I saw ekil wow nehw I saw dehsaw pu ereht!

Hippie Joe

V-Necks V.S. Turtle Necks!: Update 2 + Aftermath

UPDATE 2

Okay, it is finally here! After a long time when I said I would do it everyday! But, The truth is that I had 17 stokes and had to go to the hospital! So, If you missed them because you are a idiot then here are the links!

https://tnn.news.blog/2019/02/26/v-necks-v-s-turtle-necks-update-1/

https://tnn.news.blog/2019/02/25/v-necks-v-s-turtle-necks-epic-battle-begins/

Okay, So let’s continue shall we! HEHEHEHEHHEHE! Okay so the V-Necks won the war with a total of 10% of them left (Or 90% gone)! The Turtle Necks fought a hard battle but the larger number of the V-Necks just blew all the Turtle Necks to pieces. So, The V-Necks won the battle and the remaining people will live in peace in Greenland, Ohio until another 27 years pass and they are forced to battle again! See you there!

AFTERMATH

It has now been quite a few days after the battle has ended! The V-Necks are living a happy, healthy life. But, One day nothing happened, they are happy okay! BYE!

Emu’s declare war on Australia, again!

Emu’s have already had wars with Australia, but now they are going full out EMU MODE!!! They have forces on the edge of Sidney right now, and they are firing rocket launchers filled with seeds at Sidney’s residents. Sidney’s residence have retaliated by having their dogs chase the Emu’s away. Emu’s haven’t taken over Sydney yet, but… They started firing seeds at audience members in the Sydney Opera House. The Emu’s have their own navy, with 2 boats, the EEEMU and the EMUMU. The picture above shows Sydney rescuing people from the EMUMU after Emu’s captured them. The image belows shows emu’s rushing towards Sydney.

V-Necks V.S. Turtle Necks!: Update #1

Okay, So here is the first update for the 11th annual V-Necks VS Turtle Necks battle in Greenland, Ohio. If you are confused go to this article here: https://tnn.news.blog/2019/02/25/v-necks-v-s-turtle-necks-epic-battle-begins/! Okay, So far 65% of the V-Necks are gone and 77% of the Turtle Necks are gone. So the V-Necks are still winning, but the Turtle Necks still have a chance. Like in the 4th battle were there was only 2% of the Turtle Necks left and 14% of the V-Necks left, but the Turtle Necks somehow went all super saiyan and blew up all of the remaining V-Necks. That was the smallest amount of people remaining after a battle being 89 people. See you tomorrow which will most likely be the last update because this one is going pretty quickly!

V-Necks V.S. Turtle Necks!: EPIC BATTLE BEGINS!!

In Greenland, Ohio there is a national battle every 27 years that begin on Febuary 25th, 2019 (Which is today)! In this event everybody either wears a V-Neck or a Turtle Neck shirt! Then, based off if they are wearing a V-Neck or a Turtle Neck, they split them into teams and then they start killing eachother until only one team remains! This sounds super brutal, but it is to make sure the population doesn’t go to far, as Ohio is one of the most populated cities in Greenland. Last year the Turtle Necks won by a landslide as it was the shortest battle is history, being only 19 hours (as they are usually atleast a couple days). This time there were 1,900 on the V-Necks and 1,700 on the Turtle Necks, the Turtle Necks had much more last battle. So far 24% of the V-Necks are gone, and 44% of the Turtle Necks are gone. So, The V-Necks are winning so far, who do you think will win this battle? We will be posting new updates everyday until the battle is finished! See you then!

Donald Trump eats 24 pounds of Oat Meal every single day!!!: 10 CRAZY Facts!

Here are 10 CRAZY Facts that will make you not want to live on this planet any longer! So, Let’s begin!

  1. Obama has killed 25% of the Earth and we did not know a single bit about it!:
    Obama has secretly been killing off millions of people everyday and we did not know a single thing about it! It is because of his sweet smile! It’s so great!
  2. Trump has eaten 24 pounds of Oat Meal every single day of his life: Not much to say about this one…
  3. Waffles are now pancakes!??: WOWWIE! I sure didn’t know that!

I hope you enjoyed these 10 Epic FACTS that will blow your MIND!!! “There were only 3” you say? Well, then you are freaking stupid you dumb face man! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it when I am so obviously right!

Valentines is Officially Canceled do to Valentine’s Day Being Changed to Tines Day.

Donald Trump decided to be change Valentines day to Tines day because he hates the letter v. He says e doesn’t like v because it “mean” and was his least favorite letter growing up. So I guess we could say Happy Tines Day. Side note you are not allowed to call it valentine day or else will be sent to jail for 7 years. We hope you have very nice Tines day! You may be wondering why not alentines day , because he says tines says better.

Unidentified Object!

John Fredsisi was looking at the sky on Thursday when he saw a spaceship heading towards him, than it vanished. John was so surprised he called his wife, Betty and she said, “Mate, I saw that thing to!” TNN got to interview John the morning after.

What did the thing look like?

It was a circular object with what looked like fuel coming out of the sides. It looked like a circular version of Endeavour.

When did you see it?

It was probably 9:30, I just went out for a bit because the weather was so nice. I looked up at the stars and saw something moving across the sky. I pulled out my phone, to record it, but dropped it in the grass. Just than, it sped over our house and the rockets started going.

How did your wife see it?

I called her right after I saw the spaceship thing, she was still at work. She said that she was cleaning the windows and saw the same thing I saw.

Did any others see it?

In the morning, I went to my neighbors house, they have security cameras in the back. I asked to see the whole footage, and when I got to 9:29 the camera flashed black, It came back up at 9:32 and the ting was gone.

The Man on the Moon went crazy, 95 killed: What? Story!

The Man on the Moon who we found out lives on Mercury went absolutely CRAZY today! It is most likely because of how Trump said in a recent interview, “That Moon Man guy… don’t like ’em, he smells like garbage!” This caused The Man on the Moon to get so angry that he jumped down to Earth causing a Earthquake, killing 47 people! He then pulled out a AK47 and started shooting like a mad man, killing 48 more people (including Former-President Bill Clinton & Actress from the 1900’s, Terry Walker)! Shortly, After that intense incident the Police came and shot the Man on the Moon 12 times in the chest until he fell on the ground dead. This story will go down in history for the most intense thing the Man on the Moon has done from his 1,345 years of life!

R.I.P: Bill Clinton – 1946-2019

R.I.P: Terry Walker – 1913-2019

R.I.P: The Man on the Moon – 673-2019

R.I.P: The Other 93 People killed in the incident – ???-2019