Category: Nature

Perry the Tap Dancing Shark revealed as MURDERER!!! OMG!!! AHH!

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Oh my god…I can’t believe this… this is s-so SAD!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Everyone’s favorite tap dancing shark was revealed to be a MURDERER!!! After Perry attacked me and I had to go to the hospital, police discovered something weird. He would have little children stay at his house with him all alone, and he would get pretty freaky. The victims never said anything about it because they wanted to keep his reputation pure, but after Perry died of a heart attack a couple of hours ago they confessed what he did. Some people say to “Just let the shark rest!”, but this is very important to talk about! Perry was not as he seemed.

Exclusive picture of Perry eating a unsuspecting victim, with the other one to die soon after

So, the moral of a story is that tap dancing sharks don’t exist you idiot. Also, This is pretty similar to the Micheal Jackson case haha.

Three Ways to Improve Your Pet Emu!

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The Emu is a complex organism… It poops on you car!

– George Clooney
  1. Feed it after you feed it

This might sound confusing, but your pet Emu is going to eat all your food, so after you feed it give it more food, and keep going until you spent all your money on Emu food. Also, lock your fridge, they will eat everything.

  1. Tell your mother you won’t be able to see her for a couple of years. (if you care about her enough to)

Your Emu is very high maintenance, so you won’t be able to visit anyone for about 3 years. Your car is also going to be pooped on a lot. If you like having cleaning, the Emu is a great pet.

3. Get some Emu socks

There fancy, there cheap, and they don’t exist. They are good for your Emu, and their in the shape of donuts.

First Tap Dancing Shark!??: Wait WHAT!?? Story time!

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Yes, You heard that right! There is a shark that can tap dance of all things! It is absurd! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT! His record is tap dancing for 56 seconds straight just on his tail! It’s crazy! The sharks name is Perry, which is a pretty strange name for a Shark, but hey I won’t judge it! Perry is so good at tap dancing that he went into a tap dancing and won 1st place instantly! Well, I mean he didn’t even tap dance, but he ate all the other contestants so he won by default… He sure is such a great tap dancer, you agree! Of course you do! HAHAHAHAHA… uhhh… Oh hey Perry how are you do- AHHH! STOP IT NOOO! AGGHHH-

Breaking News New Island Found!!!!

Posted in Nature, World1 Comment

Yesterday two people where found on a brand new island. According to Illy Bob Oe and Hippie John. They were going whale Watching and a large long silver kraken with people on it washed them to shore. Since they thought they were washed up on fiji, Hippie John said , ” ew era ta Ijif?” Hippie John only speaks backwards so Illy Bob Oe can’t hear well he thought they had discovered a new island. Which Illy Bob Oe was right for once in his life. You can take a ferry from fiji to see this island. A resort will be expected to be built in 2020.

I saw ekil wow nehw I saw dehsaw pu ereht!

Hippie Joe

Emu’s declare war on Australia, again!

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Emu’s have already had wars with Australia, but now they are going full out EMU MODE!!! They have forces on the edge of Sidney right now, and they are firing rocket launchers filled with seeds at Sidney’s residents. Sidney’s residence have retaliated by having their dogs chase the Emu’s away. Emu’s haven’t taken over Sydney yet, but… They started firing seeds at audience members in the Sydney Opera House. The Emu’s have their own navy, with 2 boats, the EEEMU and the EMUMU. The picture above shows Sydney rescuing people from the EMUMU after Emu’s captured them. The image belows shows emu’s rushing towards Sydney.

Cats Now can Get Plastic Surgery?

Posted in Nature, Technology2 Comments

” Are me judging for giving cat what they want? Cats want to be beautiful too. Many cats want to look like their favorite celebrity cat. I had a patient last month who wanted to look like grumpy cat. Humans want to look like celebrities all the time. “

Dr. drscientistman jr

Dr. drscientistman jr has many many cats look like their favourite internet celebs or internet humans. The procedures that you can do is tail lengthening, different eye colors, hair lengthening, hair color, and nose shape. Cats still have to have recovery time before traveling after this. So does pretty kitty want to be more pretty at the small price of 3,000 dollars its worth of it.

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You can now be changed into a dog with the power of science

Posted in Nature, Technology1 Comment

DR.drscientistman jr. finished this 2/14/19 so this is very new technology. It took 7 decades create and was started by Dr.sciernst in Monday, February 14, 1949. Then continued out by Dr.drscientistman. Then finally finished yesterday. The only breed you can changed into are shiba inus, shar peis, pugs, boxers, golden retrievers, corgis, bulldogs of any type, german shepherd, beagles, poodles, and pomeranians. They are currently trying to be able to do all breeds. DR.drscientistman jr predicts that it will be 20 years before you can be a cat or rabbit. The FDA is currently approving this right now but it will cost 70,000 dollars to not have to work another day in your life, sounds like luxury. Maylor swift was the first test subject and is currently living happy life with her family. Dr.scientist man jr can’t tell if this will affect you yet.

The World’s Largest Turtle Shell!: OMG Holy Moly!

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Okay, So you know turtle shells, right? But, I bet you didn’t think about what the biggest turtle shell is. It is held by Ivan the Turtle who was birthed 3x bigger than his mother, his mother died while giving birth. Ivan’s shell is a wopping 400,000 Tons, OMG! Sadly, As of Febuary 8th, 2019… Ivan has passed away and has left his incredible shell to go down in history.

The Not-So-Good Articles Collection!

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These articles were either to short, messed up other articles, or were just plain awful! All of these articles are NON-CANON!

Donald Trump tries to bans Democrats

Donald Trump reportedly tried to ban all Democrats from the U.S because he is worried for the 2020 elections. He says they are two much competition. Trump also says he’s breaking up with his wife. This alot weird things happening with him. Help us stop him.

Donald Trump assassinated. New president:  Andrew Johnson IX

As you know, Andrew Johnson was the 17th president of the United States of America, after Lincoln’s assassination. Donald Trump was assassinated at 2:52 pm today, exactly 3 hours ago. The assassinator was Reynold Garfield, a former U.S. citizen that decided “Afghanistan is better than this pile o’ poop.” Here are his last words before that statement:  “I want an America where racists and health care bureaucrats can’t take away our sacred constitution.” He was, for 1 second, the governor of Oregon, which is not part of the U.S. anymore. Andrew Johnson IX is the closest living relative of the well-remembered 17th president. This is Milksnake from TNN, signing out.

The First Ever Man with an Face Arm.

The man went to world renowned Dr.DR at DR.DR hospital. They have never seen something like this before. They said it would 20,000 dollars to remove this parasite which has a brain. The parasite pulled out a sword and said , ” No.” So, he will not be removed any time soon.

Upside Down Face Cat Runs for Mayor in Georgia!

This cat itself is weird because the cats face is upside down, but the cat is running for mayor. Some day you may here about Mayor Mewosalot. All we know is he may win. We have no idea how this cat will make decisions. We think this cat deserves to win because he is a weird just like TNN. Just look at his face vote for him if you live in Georgia, pls.

Potatoes Have Been Banned In Britain

The British people think they are too American and therefore related to Donald Trump and they hate Donald Trump so yeah! Potatoes =American = Donald Trump= bad.

The U.S. is now named S.U

Why? The United States was fine why did you have to name is Sally United or that is what I think it’s renamed to. Anyways on last Tuesday a Russian frog was really angry because he thought that U.S. stood for Unitellegaint S-frogs!, but you see this frog is extremely stupid, but The United States cares about hot dogs and french fires so much. This is what Sally thinks about it, “OMG, go away kids.” I want to die in a hole, but that’s just a theory, A GAME THEORY, and Cut! #FrenchSpagheti

Christmas is now in september!!

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! people in the S.U say that they feel bad for September. So, Christmas is officially September 30th! Us here at TNN are happy because we also feel bad for September. Nothing happens in September 😦

And that is all of the NON-CANON not good articles that were just to AWFUL to put on here! Even we have standards here at TNN News!!

THESE ARE NOT REAL!!!!!!!!

Squirrel Becomes King

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A little squirrel named Sam became king of England. Queen Elizabeth married Sam and he is now king. A recent twitter poll concluded that 12% are sad about this and 88% are happy. The Queen now has a friend and well he looks pretty good. Prince Charles is not happy about this because a squirrel once ate his lunch. Well we’ve come to the point were humans are not good enough for us.